What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

That is so cliche (and a very popular Kelly Clarkson song) but the absolute truth!  Today, October 1 marks the three-year anniversary of finding out about Zoe having spina bifida.  I was about sixteen weeks pregnant going in for my sonogram to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  The first tech saw the hydrocephalus (water on the brain), and the specialist we were referred to that afternoon confirmed the hydrocephalus and was able to see the hole in her spine.  The rest is history.

In the last three years, I have learned more about life than the first twenty-seven.  I have learned to say (and spell!) the word myelomeningocele, I learned to catheterize my child, I learned about sleep deprivation, I learned how to say "no" to people, and how to be kinder to those closest to you as well as complete strangers, I learned that when you love something so much, sometimes it just not the right timing and you have to let it go, I learned to plan a family budget and live off of one income, I learned not to afraid of a wheelchair and that they can make anything look cute these days.  I have accomplished more professionally in the last three years...I experienced teaching both middle school and high school choir, learning about the importance of community and strong families, took a choir two years to UIL and making Sweepstakes, I felt the pride in my students and all of their awards and recognition, I fell in love with high school aged kids, then I felt the pain in laying it all down.  I have started running, cooking, and volunteering more at church.  I have also learned about the importance of therapy and therapists who work with young children, I've learned about the importance of prayer warriors, I have learned how to enjoy an afternoon of crafting and finger-painting and fake tea parties and lego people, and how much fun it can be to just slow down.  Life has been a roller coaster these last three years, and I'm done just hanging on.

What I didn't realize until early this morning is the significance of October 1.  October is not just breast cancer awareness month, it's also spina bifida awareness month.  Zoe and I were on a jog together and it hit me that the anniversary of Zoe's diagnosis is also the beginning of a month of awareness, education, and support of her and others like her.

I heard a statistic recently that there are fewer cases of children being born with spina bifida now.  Sounds awesome, right?  There is also a significant increase in early detection, which is great too!  The only problem is that so many families who are confronted with the saddening news of their child's condition are aborting the pregnancy, and there are many babies just like Zoe being diagnosed prenatally before ever getting the chance to fight for their own life.  I can't tell you enough how blessed we are by our little girl.  We had many opportunities to terminate the pregnancy.  I'm so glad we chose life.  We chose to listen to our hearts.  We chose Zoe.  Interesting how Zoe's name means "life" in Greek.

Now, I just want to reiterate that I totally believe in prenatal care.  If it weren't for the technicians, the doctors, and the countless specialists we saw during my pregnancy, we would not have been as prepared emotionally or physically for the trials to come.  We are also extremely fortunate to have Dallas right in our own backyard and have access to highly qualified, world renown physicians and specialists available to us.

So take your folic acid supplements if you're trying to get pregnant, see your doctor for regular visits, and get the best prenatal care out there.  You are and always will be your child's best advocate, healthy or not.  Oh, and wear yellow to support the furthering of spina bifida awareness.

Zoe-3 months old...one of my favorite pictures!!